Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.