You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -19

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.