trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.