I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +78

I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Tried to suck ur own penis

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

thumb_up thumb_down +93

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

thumb_up thumb_down -44

i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.