- Things You Think Only You Do

Peeing in the shower

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

whale sperm

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.