ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.