I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

I have seen a UFO

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

I talk to myself when I'm alone

Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I eat one way in public and another way in private.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.