Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.