When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.