Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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jack off

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Say what even when u heard someone

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.