I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.