Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Fart at home

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.