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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.