When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.