do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I can see a magic eye image

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

thumb_up thumb_down +32

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -78

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

thumb_up thumb_down -117

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.