play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.