this is a terrible website and i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -109

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -92

"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -103

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.