When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.