Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Poop naked.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.