Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.