- Things You Think Only You Do

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

I gotta get down of Friday

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

The older I get the more honest I get

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.