Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.