I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Sometimes I toot.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.