when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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speak proper english

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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get really confused

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.