Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.