Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Say what even when u heard someone

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.