After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.