Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

KICK THE CAN

When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

sit in the shower

Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.