oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.