Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.