Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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i use dental dams

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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I control water in the shower.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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R A P E Children

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.