Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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Peeing in the shower

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.