Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

after a shower, try to shake the water off.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

i see almost everything as a sign

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.