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Clarksonisms
Parent Failure
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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices
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-100
Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".
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+17
I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.
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+15
draw the sun at the corner of the page
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+1
Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.
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+1
When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.
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-45
Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex
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-107
Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.
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-129
bounce when your tip toeing.
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-6
Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.
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-8
Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.
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-18
After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.
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-30
I bought a ps4 and really regret it.
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-42
Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.
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-50
smoke marijuana
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-60
Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"
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-70
When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views
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-78
Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.
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-84
Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.
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+41
Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)
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-1
Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I
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-5
Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.
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-29
Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.
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-35
Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.
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-49
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.