Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.