When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.