When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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I control water in the shower.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Pee in the shower.

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Give your neighbors names from movies.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.