I control water in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

this is a terrible website and i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -78

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Dip my pizza crust in my soda

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Try to pet your cat with your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

thumb_up thumb_down +107

I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.