Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

i masturbate with my feet

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

make south park refferences every day

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.