At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.