i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

thumb_up thumb_down +102

After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

thumb_up thumb_down +68

At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

Wonder why there are sites like this.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +179

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

whale sperm

thumb_up thumb_down -178

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.