I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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My parents are annoying.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.