When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Courtesy flush.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.