Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

thumb down this post

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Think about things I should be doing with my life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.