Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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I have seen a UFO

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.