look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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I always cry when I pray.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.