when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.