Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -39

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -47

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.