I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.