I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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only read the short jokes on this website

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Ur mum

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.